Facebook status turned into a recursion program — Python Programming

I was lamenting (which I obviously do a lot) about stuff and wrote a facebook status – written below. One of my friends mentioned that it was a recurrence relation that should be tested which I immediately took as a challenge and coded it. This was what I needed after struggling to understand Java syntax which is something I find to be an extreme opposite of Python.

Status:
Completely lost trying to program because I have to miss class because I have to go to work because I have to make money because I have to pay for college because I have to pay for class that I have to miss because I have to go to work because I have to make money because I have to pay for college because I have to pay for class that I have to miss because I have to go to work because I….need a vacation….

def func (var):
    if var == "I have to miss class":
        return 1
    if var == "I have to go to work":
        return 2
    if var == "I have to make money":
        return 3
    if var == "I have to pay for college":
        return 4
    if var == "I have to pay for class":
        return 5
    
def status(variable):
    if variable == 5:
        return 1
    else:
        return (variable + 1)
    
def twice(var):
    if var == 1:
        return "I have to miss class"
    if var == 2:
        return "I have to go to work"
    if var == 3:
        return "I have to make money"
    if var == 4:
        return "I have to pay for college"
    if var == 5:
        return "I have to pay for class"

    
def main():
    variable = 1
    while 1>0:
        variable = input("Completely lost in programming because ")
        because = func(variable)
        recur = status(because)
        reverse = twice(recur)
        print(variable, "because", reverse)
        
main()